45 Life Lessons

Here are 45 life lessons by Regina Brett of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland Ohio.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10.When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

On a Church Billboard

Kindness is Love in work clothes.

I Believe

I posted these on my pic blog yesterday, but they are too good to not post here too.

Harvard, for Free?

I got an e-mail that sounded too good to be true.

I snoped it, but it wasn't even on Snopes yet.

I googled it, and found out it is true.

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Harvard University is offering FREE tuition to lower income families.

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Apparently, it occurred to them that 90% of their students come from the upper 50% of the income class.

Recognizing that kids whose parents make less than $60,000/yr can still be smart, and in an effort to even out the playing field, Harvard is offering free tuition for "lower income" students.

Specifically, a student from a family with an income of less than $40,000/yr. will not have to pay tuition.

Families that earn between $40,000 and $60,000/yr will have a reduced tuition rate.

You can read more about it >>>here<<<.

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How awesome is that?

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(And this is not an April Fool's joke, btw).

Seussisms

I grew up reading Dr. Seuss.

I loved the story of the Sneetches who thought that personal value was decided by the presence or absence of a star on their bellies and spent their every last dollar trying to be better then the other Sneetches.

I found that that story was not the only Dr. Seuss story with a moral, or at least a few words of wisdom thrown in amidst the rhymes and gibberish words.

As a young poet, I envied his ability to simply make up new words when he couldn't find an adequate one that rhymed. My teachers never let me get away with that.

I have always, even as an adult, loved the quirky stories and have loved reading them to my own children.

Today I want to share with you some of the quips of wisdom and insight so often found in his pages.

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Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better. it's not.

-The Lorax

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It's a troublesome world.

All the people who're in it

are troubled with troubles

almost every minute.

Just tell yourself, Duckie,

you're really quite lucky!

Some people are much more...

oh, muchly much much more

unlucky than you!

-Did I ever tell you how lucky you are?

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I meant what I said and I said what I meant.....

An elephant's faithful, One hundred percent!

-Horton Hatches an Egg

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I know, up on top

you are seeing great sights,

But down at the bottom

we, too, should have rights.

-Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories

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Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!"

-How the Grinch Stole Christmas

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You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in!

-You're Only Old Once

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You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

any direction you choose.

You're on your own

and you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy

who'll decide where to go.

-Oh, the Places You'll Go

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The more that you read,

the more things you will know.

The more that you learn,

the more places you'll go.

-I Can Read With My Eyes Shut.

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A person's a person, no matter how small. -Horton Hears a Who

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Think left and think right

and think low and think high.

Oh, the THINKS you can think up

if only you try!

-Oh the Thinks You Can Think

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Be sure when you step.

Step with great care and tact

and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

-Oh, the Places You'll Go

Schools all over the country celebrated Dr. Seuss' birthday last week.

Happy Birthday Mr. Geisel,

Thanks for all the wisdom.

Thanks for all the words,

Thanks for inventing new things,

like Truffulas and Nerds.

-Della

Shooting Yourself in the Foot - Beyond the Cliche

In case you haven't already heard, Plaxico Burress, wide receiver for the New York Giants, (who won the Superbowl last year), shot himself in the leg over the weekend.

Giants #17 was at (can you guess?) a nightclub "early Saturday morning" (Which means after midnight on Friday night).

The details are somewhat unclear, especially since the shooting wasn't reported to the police until way later.

As I understand it, his gun, (which he doesn't have a license for) started slipping down his leg. He tried to grab it and inadvertently squeezed the trigger, resulting in a gunshot to his right thigh.

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So lets analyze this.

This idiot is at a club till the wee hours of the morning. Do good things happen in night clubs after midnight? I can tell you, No.

(Do you notice that celebrities never have shootings at the 9:00 showing at a movie theater?)

Good old Plaxico has had a few drinks, is dancing, and guess what? His firearm, that (again) he has no license for, starts to slip down his leg. Which means that it wasn't even in a holster, just jammed in the waistband of his jeans.

When it starts to slide down he gropes for it and accidentally pulls the trigger, firing a bullet into his right thigh.

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Lets focus on some specific factors of this incident. We have:

-Idiot

-after midnight in a nightclub

-alcohol

-unregistered gun

-unsecured gun, no holster

-safety OFF

Hmm.... Anyone surprised he got shot?

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To add to the situation, when he went to the hospital he tried to cover the whole thing up.

The police, who were finally notified later in the day, are now doing an investigation into the whole thing which has included a teammates car (If you guessed it was an Escalade, you're right!) being impounded, and the doctor who treated him being suspended from the hospital.

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As a consequence Mr. Burress has been suspended from playing football for the rest of the season, (as though he could anyway with a bullet wound), is facing fines of about $800,000.00, and legal charges for carrying an illegal weapon, which could land him in jail for 3 1/2 to 15 years.

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It absolutely kills me that guys like this, (because while he may be an idiot, he's not the only idiot who has done something like this), are making millions of dollars a year playing a game, and apparently think they are above the rules.

They carry weapons illegally, they run dog fighting rings (that's a different idiot), they do all kinds of things that leave common sense way behind, and are suprised when something goes wrong.

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We all make mistakes. We all screw up. But with a little common sense, a little planning, and maybe (just maybe ) a little adherence to the laws that are intended to keep us safe, we can hopefully make mistakes that cause us to lose a dozen eggs, a few bucks, or a little sleep, not millions of dollars, use of our limbs, and our personal freedom.

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(Idiot!)

An old farmer's advice

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong

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Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance

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Life is simpler when you plow around the stump

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A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor

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Words that soak into your ears are whispered not yelled

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Meanness don't jes' happen overnight

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Forgive your enemies It messes up their heads

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Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you

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It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge

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You cannot unsay a cruel word

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Every path has a few puddles

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When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty

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The best sermons are lived, not preached

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Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway

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Don't judge folks by their relatives

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Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer

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Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none

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Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance

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If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'

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Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got

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The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'

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Always drink upstream from the herd

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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment

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Don't squat with yer spurs on

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Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in

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If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around

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Live simply

Love generously

Care deeply

Speak kindly

More Wisdom

Some of these may sound familiar.

Enjoy them anyway.

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01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

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02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

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03. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

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04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

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05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

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06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

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07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

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08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

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10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

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12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

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13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

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14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

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15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

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16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

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18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

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19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips aremoving.

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20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

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21. Never miss a good chance to shut up

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22. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Life Lessons

A few lessons I got from an e-mail from my niece Echo:

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I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

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I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

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I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

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I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

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I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

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I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day.What makes me think I can?

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I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

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I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

Great Quote

I always know God won't give me more than I can handle, but there are times I wish he didn't trust me so much.

-Mother Teresa

The Secret of Success

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing you will be successful."

-Albert Schweitzer

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"There is no success without hardship."

-Sophocles

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"The road to success is always under construction."

-Lily Tomlin

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"You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong."

-Warren Buffet

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"If A equals success, then the formula is A=X+Y+Z.

X is work, Y is play, Z is keep your mouth shut."

-Albert Einstein

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"I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work."

-Thomas Edison (on inventing the lightbulb)

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"Losing is simply learning how to win."

-Ted Turner

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"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

-Bill Cosby

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"It is not going out of port, but coming back in that determines the success of a voyage."

-Henry Ward Beecher

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"Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things."

-T.S. Eliot

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"Flaming enthusiasm, backed by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success."

-Dale Carnegie

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"I don't measure a man by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom."

-General George S. Patton

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"People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. They succeed because they are determined to."

-George Allen

Que Sera Sera is a load of bull!

I'm not downing Doris Day.

This song was a #2 hit, only held out of the #1 spot by Elvis Presley and a little song called "Hound Dog".

But this song was in my head the other day and as I sang the words to myself I started to get irritated.

Any mother who tells her daughter essentially "Don't worry about what will happen to you. It's going to happen anyway and you have no control over it" ought to be flogged.

Of course you have control over what will happen to you!

You are the one who decides what will happen in your life. We can't always control what comes in to our lives. But we control what happens once it's there.

We have the power to direct our lives and make our dreams come true.

So I rewrote the words to the first verse:

When I was just a little girl,

I told my mother what I would be.

"I will be pretty. I will be rich.

I will be because of Me"

Que decido sera,

Whatever I say, will be.

The future is up to me.

Que decido sera.

2nd verse:

When I grew up and fell in love

I told my sweetheart what to expect,

"We will have troubles, but we will get through

if we have love and respect"

Que decido sera,

Whatever I say will be.

The future is up to me.

Que decido sera.

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Give me time and I'll rewrite the last verse too.

Sunday Post

This sunday's post is an excerpt from the Article "May We So Live" in this Month's Ensign by President Thomas S. Monson.

Chris is giving the Elders Quorum lesson on this article this week.

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Because life is fragile and death inevitable, we must make the most of each day.

There are many ways in which we can misuse our opportunities. Some time ago I read a tender story written by Louise Dickinson Rich which vividly illustrates this truth. She wrote:

“My grandmother had an enemy named Mrs. Wilcox.

Grandma and Mrs. Wilcox moved, as brides, into next-door houses on the main street of the tiny town in which they were to live out their lives. I don’t know what started the war between them—and I don’t think that by the time I came along, over thirty years later, they remembered themselves what started it. This was no polite sparring match; this was total war.

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“Nothing in town escaped repercussion. The 300-year-old church, which had lived through the Revolution, the Civil War, and the Spanish War, almost went down when Grandma and Mrs. Wilcox fought the Battle of the Ladies’ Aid. Grandma won that engagement, but it was a hollow victory. Mrs. Wilcox, since she couldn’t be president, resigned [from the Aid] in a huff. What’s the fun of running a thing if you can’t force your enemy to eat crow?

Mrs. Wilcox won the Battle of the Public Library, getting her niece, Gertrude, appointed librarian instead of Aunt Phyllis. The day Gertrude took over was the day Grandma stopped reading library books. They became ‘filthy germy things’ overnight.

The Battle of the High School was a draw. The principal got a better job and left before Mrs. Wilcox succeeded in having him ousted or Grandma in having him given life tenure of office.

“When as children we visited my grandmother, part of the fun was making faces at Mrs. Wilcox’s grandchildren. One banner day we put a snake into the Wilcox rain barrel. My grandmother made token protests, but we sensed tacit sympathy.

“Don’t think for a minute that this was a one-sided campaign. Mrs. Wilcox had grandchildren, too. Grandma didn’t get off scot free. Never a windy washday went by that the clothesline didn’t mysteriously break, with the clothes falling in the dirt.

“I don’t know how Grandma could have borne her troubles so long if it hadn’t been for the household page of her daily Boston newspaper. This household page was a wonderful institution. Besides the usual cooking hints and cleaning advice, it had a department composed of letters from readers to each other.

The idea was that if you had a problem—or even only some steam to blow off—you wrote a letter to the paper, signing some fancy name like Arbutus. That was Grandma’s pen name. Then some of the other ladies who had the same problem wrote back and told you what they had done about it, signing themselves One Who Knows or Xanthippe or whatever.

Very often, the problem disposed of, you kept on for years writing to each other through the column of the paper, telling each other about your children and your canning and your new dining-room suite. That’s what happened to Grandma. She and a woman called Sea Gull corresponded for a quarter of a century. Sea Gull was Grandma’s true friend.

“When I was about sixteen, Mrs. Wilcox died. In a small town, no matter how much you have hated your next-door neighbor, it is only common decency to run over and see what practical service you can do the bereaved. Grandma, neat in a percale apron to show that she meant what she said about being put to work, crossed the lawn to the Wilcox house, where the Wilcox daughters set her to cleaning the already-immaculate front parlor for the funeral. And there on the parlor table in the place of honor was a huge scrapbook; and in the scrapbook, pasted neatly in parallel columns were Grandma’s letters to Sea Gull over the years and Sea Gull’s letters to her. Though neither woman had known it, Grandma’s worst enemy had been her best friend.

That was the only time I remember seeing my grandmother cry. I didn’t know then exactly what she was crying about, but I do now. She was crying for all the wasted years which could never be salvaged.”

May we resolve from this day forward to fill our hearts with love. May we go the extra mile to include in our lives any who are lonely or downhearted or who are suffering in any way. May we “[cheer] up the sad and [make] someone feel glad.”

May we live so that when that final summons is heard, we may have no serious regrets, no unfinished business, but will be able to say with the Apostle Paul, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.”

Wisdom of Larrry the Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

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2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

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3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

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4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

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5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

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6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

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7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

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8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

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9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

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10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

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12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

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13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

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14. OK, so w hat's the speed of dark?

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15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

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16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

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17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

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18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

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20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

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21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the hell happened?'

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22. Just remember -- if the world didn' t suck, we would all fall off.

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23. Light travels faster than sound.. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

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Motto of a powerful woman

(May be changed to apply to a man)

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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...

"Oh crap....she's awake!!"