Tiger Mom Loves Baby Piggies or False Advertising

According to an email I received the other day, there was a poor Mama Tiger in a California zoo who gave birth to tiger cub triplets. The poor cubbies died and the mother got depressed. She was failing to thrive.

The Zoo personel felt that if she could foster some other cubs it might reinvigor her desire to live. They contacted other zoos but were unable to find any orphaned tiger cubs.

What they found instead were a litter of piglets whose mother had died.

The zoo personel wrapped the piglets in tiger skins and put them in the habitat with the tiger. They then waited to see if the piglets would be a treatment tool, or if they would become lunch.

I thought this story was incredibly sweet and good blog fodder if it was true, so I checked it out on snopes.com.

Unfortunately the whole story was not true.

The pictures were actually taken in a zoo in Thailand at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo. This zoo has more than 400 tigers and occasionally gets bored with the normal tiger habitat exhibit so they cross exhibits by putting the tiger cubs in with a mother pig or vice versa.

This was the case with these pictures. All the same, these pics are adorable and serve to be a sort of Lion-laying-down-with-the-lamb example.

"Happy Anniversary" or "How Blessed Am I?"

My Parents celebrated their 42nd wedding anniversary this week.

That's about two thirds of their lives that they spent with each other.

I know that they have benefitted beyond what I can even understand by being part of a happy, loving marriage.

But I have to point out that I have definitely been blessed by their marriage as well.

Mainly, I was born to a mother and father who wanted me and loved me.

I was raised by loving parents who taught me, nurtured me and provided for me, and taught me God's gospel.

I have never known the pain of divorce close to me.

My parents are still together and still there for me whenever I need them. (Even though they are almost never home).

I love my parents and I am so happy for them.

42 years down and eternity to go.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.

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If you would like to read the post I wrote for them last year >>>click here<<<. It'a pretty good one.

Yay, School's Out! or Help, I'm Afraid for my Sanity!

My kids have 8 more school days until they are out for the summer. We have a few things planned for the summer to help keep us busy, not to mention our close proximity to the BEACH, so hopefully we won't be getting too stir crazy, but I still tend to stress about the summer. So I was excited when I got an email that gave me another cool suggestion for a summer activity.

If you haven't heard of >> Kidsbowlfree.com <<, check it out.

It is a great program that allows children 15 and under to go bowling every day for free.

They can play up to 2 games each day, and I don't think shoe rental is included, but it is an awesome program.

Check the website for participating bowling alleys near you.

(I apologize in advance to my Utah readers as I think there is only 1 alley that does this in Utah).

They also offer an inexpensive membership for the adults in the family so you can bowl with your kids.

Have a great summer and if you have cheap recreation ideas I'd love to hear them.

It Almost Happened to Us

Word of Warning: Grandpa, you may not want to let Grandma read this one.

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Yesterday a student at Landstown High School, in Virginia Beach, where my kids go, was arrested for planning a Columbine like attack at Landstown.

One of his friends turned him in to the police.

When the police searched his home they found 28 pipe bombs, molotov cocktails and other devices as well as the ingredients needed to make more.

I meet with the teachers regularly at this high school, which I consider to be an excellent school.

Many of the students, (and parents) are still shaken.

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You can read more and watch a short news video about it >>>here<<<.

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I can't believe this almost happened to us.

Thank God it didn't.

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-Della

It's a Boy!

Chris, Rabbit and I went to court today to have the papers finalized to make Rabbit our Permanent foster son.

We signed the papers last week and they were made official this morning in court along with changing Rabbit's permanency to goal from "reunification with family" to "permanent foster care".

What this means is that while adoption is not an option for Rabbit and it is possible that someone in his family could petition for custody, he will almost certainly be a court recognized member of our family until he turns 18 and goes to college or moves out.

At which point in time he will still be a member of our family, just not dependent on us.

This also means that Chris and I have more say and power when making decisions and authorizations.

I can now authorize medical treatment for him and if we were to move out of state (which isn't likely), he could come with us.

We are so grateful to have him as a part of our family.

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For those who don't know, we have 3 foster sons, in addition to our 2 biological boys.

We also get an occasional visit from young men that have been in our home before. We are always glad to see them too.

I wish I could share more about these awesome young men because I love them all so much and they have blessed my life and taught me so much, but for the sake of their confidentiality I will continue to say little about them. Here, on the blog at least.

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Hooray for Rabbit!

Parenting (again), and one of my boys

I said something yesterday about not needing to change what you are doing as a parent if what you are doing is working.

Carrie commented that when you learn something new you should look at it, decide what you can use and catalogue the rest for later necessity.

I think she is right and there are things I can learn from Dr. Post, but I should keep doing what is working.

How do I know if what I am doing is working?

Well, for example, after the first term at school J brought home a report card with straight Fs. Yesterday (only 1 term later), he brought home a certificate and a medal for making the Honor Roll. (I know it's legitimate because I picked him up at school and his teacher actually handed me the certificate).

I am so proud of him.

And to be honest, I'm proud of myself too.

-Della

New Parenting

I spent the last 2 days attending a training by Dr. Brian Post from the Post Institute.

It was all about parenting. Specifically parenting really tough kids; adopted children, foster children or kids who have experienced high levels of trauma that are continuing to affect their behaviors.

It was very eye opening and interesting. In the end I disagreed with some of his hands on techniques, but agreed with his general theories.

What I liked about him is his understanding that parents can't help kids be in control of their emotions when the parents aren't in control of their emotions. Kind of a "duh" statement right? But how many times in one day do you as a parent allow your frustration level, maybe even your voice level, to go up because of something your kids are doing? That really only increases the stress in the situation. Some one who is upset can't calm down someone else who is upset. Only a parent who is calm and in control of themselves can be in control of a situation.

But Dr Post believes it is wrong for parents to try to control their children anyway. It is impossible to control another person. All we can really do is influence them. We can set limits and model appropriate behaviors. We can also spend extra time building positive relationships with our kids, so that our kids care more what we as their parents think about their actions.

I was following right along until the second half of that last sentence. Maybe my own training is so much a part of me that I am closed to new ideas, and I really do think realtionships are vital in raising and teaching kids, but I think kids need to learn to do the right thing because it is the right thing, not because their parents make them feel guilty if they don't.

But it does make sense that kids who spend more quality time with their parents are less likely to act out.

Dr. Post also focuses on recognizing, when a child is acting out, what is causing them stress that is triggering the behavior. Because if you can resolve the underlying stress and fear you can resolve the behavior.

Example: If you have a foster son that freaks out and goes crazy every time you go to the grocery store, maybe that is simply too much stimulus for him and he can't handle that much going on in such a big place for that long. So maybe you need to start my taking him with you to smaller stores for smaller time increments and work your way up, so he can learn to deal with it a little at a time.

Or maybe that child was abused by his mother for whining every time they went shopping, so being in a store is a trigger for his deeper issues. So you have to show him that he can trust you be caring and loving at the store. Which you would probably want to do by smaller trips to smaller stores and work your way up.

So that's great for kids with big problems, but what about your kids that have normal behavior issues? Your kids go crazy at the store just because they want Doritos and toungue tattoo fruit roll ups and Cocoa Puffs cereal straws. Dr. Post would probably say that if you spend 10 minutes every morning, 20 minutes in the afternoon, and 10 minutes at bedtime of quality time with each of your kids, those behaviors will resolve themselves.

And I'm sure that would help. But the part of me that has sat through over 200 hours of trainings, worked with over 50 kids over the last 6 years and is nationally certified still says kids need a consequence for acting out and a reward for behaving.

Dr. Post quoted several times:

"If you keep doing what you've already done, you'll keep being where you've already been."

My response was, well, what if what I've been doing is working?

Still I learned a lot and will use some of his ideas with the kids I work with. Alltogether it was very thought provoking and I think I will be a better parent for attending.

If you are interested in what he was talking about you can go to postinstitute.com and download a free e-book about his parenting techniques.

I am interested in your comments about this or parenting in general, or whatever random thing you feel like posting about.

-Della

Parenting tip

I know you've heard the nanny say it a million times, (if you watch that show).

Get down on their level.

This works for teenagers as well as little ones. No one wants to be talked down to. You would be surprised how differently someone responds when you speak to them at eye level rather than talking down to them.

Getting below their level and talking up to them can have surprisingly good results too. Especially when interacting with a child (or even an adult) who has trust issues.

Try it out, but don't just talk to them at that level, listen too. (I know what I'm talking about, I get paid to do this).