The zip code 12345 is assigned to General Electric in Shenectady, New York.
The zip code 23456 is in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

"More Mormon Jokes" or "Strike Me Down Now"

There is another blog out there called The Sugar Beet, which is kind of like The Onion newsletter, but mormon style.

I apologize at this point to my non-mormon readers who will probably only be confused by this post or by anything they might read at The Sugar Beet.

Believe me, when you understand the "mormon culture" this stuff is funny.

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Actually the following list is titled

"Things that seem like they would be funny but are not".

See if you agree.

• Using grilled cheese sandwiches for the sacrament

• Solemnly appointing high priests to be captains of 50 for the march to Jackson County

• Sending a letter to all the Laurels saying they can wear whatever they want to girls’ camp

• Telling the priests they can serve as priesthood chaperones at girls’ camp

• Standing to bear your testimony, and then falling to the ground screaming and wrestling with an unseen demon

• Telling the nursery leader that, like an apostle, her calling is for life

• Tie-dying your Gs

• When called upon to read a scripture in Gospel Doctrine, making up something like, “And the Lord sayeth unto the children of men, It is not meet in mine eyes that thou nor thy manservant nor thy maidservant shall witness the Super Bowl, nor the harlots therein, for the Sabbath is mine”

• Telling the choir director to include a drum solo in the next Easter program

• Referring to the art displayed in the Church Office Building as “Corn in the COB”

• Dumping your fiancée because she’s not physically fit enough to make the walk to Missouri

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As for that walk to Missouri....I'll have more on that later......

Happy Father's Day, Dad.
I am so blessed to have gotten you for a father.
Thank you for being my dad.
I love you.
-Della

Did you know that an ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain?
Now you do.

45 Life Lessons

Here are 45 life lessons by Regina Brett of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland Ohio.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10.When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

License plate I just saw:
WERNUTS

Hooray for CJ!

Today is the last day of school for my kids.

CJ had an award ceremony yesterday, and won "Most Improved Student".

He has had a rough year and has worked really, really hard to do well.

It wasn't a matter of intelligence, everyone agreed he was well and above smart enough. It was more a problem with focus.

This is an issue we have worked with him on for the last few years.

After all our best efforts I finally took him to the doctor.

Now he takes one little blue pill every morning and voila! instant success!

He recognizes the difference as much as anyone and is very proud of himself.

But we are very proud of him too.

And I can send him to middle school next year with confidence that he will do well there too.

Hooray for CJ!

Jabberwocky or Glorious Nonsense

I have loved this poem since I was a little girl.

I think I heard it first from my dad.

Other than from him, this is my favorite reading of it.

You can follow along with the words. It makes it a little easier.

JABBERWOCKY

by Lewis Carroll

(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird,

and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought -

-So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'

He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

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It also reminds me of going to scout leader training with my parents.

When someone would say "We have a few announcements" everyone would sing the Announcements-are-a-horrible-way-to-die song, then someone would yell "Speak freak!" and someone else would yell "Jabber wocky!"

I wonder if I'm ever going to teach that to my cub scouts...

And if you are interested in more places and things this poem has affected >>>click here<<<.

Stacey's quote for the day:

"There is never a time when fishnets go with galoshes".

From TLC's What Not to Wear

Today's Giggle

According to the email I got, there is a certain tree in Africa that produces a fruit that contains alcohol. Being the desert and all this juicy fruit is extremely tasty to all the animals.

The problem with this being, of course, that they get intoxicated when they eat the fruit.

I don't know if this is for real, but I can't imagine what else would make elephants and monkeys act this way.

The narrative in the video is in French, but you don't need to hear it to understand. But the music adds to it I think.

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Newspaper Ads

Washer. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed -- $100.

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Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days.

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Free puppies. Part German Shepherd, part dog.

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Cows, calves never bred. Also, one gay bull for sale.

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Free puppies: part Cocker Spaniel, part sneaky neighbor's dog

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Full-sized mattress. 20-year warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.

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Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out for a while. Better be reward.

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Nice parachute. Never opened. Used once. Slightly stained.

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Free Yorkshire Terrier. Eight years old. Unpleasant little dog.

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Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.

Help a Friend and Listen to Great Music

I have a friend named Justin who is an amazingly talented guy.

His voice can move you to tears.

He just started a website to showcase his talents.

It is justinyoung.com

Check it out and enjoy! You'll be glad you did.

I Miss You All

Hi Ya'll.

I'm so sorry I've been away from the blog for so long. I miss you all dearly.

My life has been very busy and involved and I have had little time to sit at the computer even to read e-mail, much less blog.

We are possibly undergoing some exciting changes in our family.

For one, Chris has 6 weeks left of school and he will (finally) receive his BA in Criminal Justice. (Hooray!!!!)

He has a lot of ideas about how to put this degree to good use.

I have been having a lot of thoughts about my own education as we have said all along that when Chris finished it would be my turn to go to school.

I have had a difficult time deciding what to study as the most obvious choices didn't seem to feel right. I think I have got my plan worked out and I will give you more news on that as it develops.

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CJ is graduating 5th grade this week and will be going to middle school in September!

Mark will start 3rd grade in the fall. We are planning his baptism for some time this summer when his cousins can be here.

Well, that's the brief update on me.

I will try to continue blogging on random topics when I can fit in the blog time. And I will still be reading all of your blogs regularly too.

I love you all, I miss you, I value you. I'll be commenting on your blogs soon.

Love, Della

Yay, School's Out! or Help, I'm Afraid for my Sanity!

My kids have 8 more school days until they are out for the summer. We have a few things planned for the summer to help keep us busy, not to mention our close proximity to the BEACH, so hopefully we won't be getting too stir crazy, but I still tend to stress about the summer. So I was excited when I got an email that gave me another cool suggestion for a summer activity.

If you haven't heard of >> Kidsbowlfree.com <<, check it out.

It is a great program that allows children 15 and under to go bowling every day for free.

They can play up to 2 games each day, and I don't think shoe rental is included, but it is an awesome program.

Check the website for participating bowling alleys near you.

(I apologize in advance to my Utah readers as I think there is only 1 alley that does this in Utah).

They also offer an inexpensive membership for the adults in the family so you can bowl with your kids.

Have a great summer and if you have cheap recreation ideas I'd love to hear them.

A New Version of Pirates of the Caribbean or A Mormon Ad

In case you haven't seen this...

Interesting fact:
In ancient China people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt.
Yuck!