Things That Make You Go Hmmm

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. �
2. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. �
3. Life is sexually transmitted. �
4. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. �
5. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.�
6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.. �
7. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? �
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. �
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. �
10. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. �
11. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? �
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'�
13. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? �
14. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?�
15. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? �
16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? �
17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? �
18. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? �
19. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?�
20. Do you ever wonder why you bother to read my blog?

Woody's thought for the day

Why isn't Miniscule a smaller word than Huge?

A Question For You

The other day I took one of my big boys to see a doctor.

The doctor asked him all kinds of questions from "What is today's date?" and "Who is the president of the United States?" to "What do a table and chair have in common?" as well as many others.

(This may sound familiar to some of my readers).

There were 2 questions in particular that made me stop to think what my answer would be were he talking to me.

These were:

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1. Give me 5 words that you would say describe you, (good and/or bad).

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2.If you died and came back as an animal, what animal would you want to be?

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What would you say?

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Remember there are no right or wrong answers.

I'll tell you my answers after some of you comment with yours.

Maybe Dr. Wilkinson will tell us what our answers say about us.

Did you ever wonder?

Did you ever wonder what the speed of dark is?

My brother Mike's been trying to figure that out for years.

Just wondering.