Things That Make You Go Hmmm

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. �
2. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. �
3. Life is sexually transmitted. �
4. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. �
5. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.�
6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.. �
7. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? �
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. �
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. �
10. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. �
11. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? �
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'�
13. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? �
14. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?�
15. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? �
16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? �
17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? �
18. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? �
19. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?�
20. Do you ever wonder why you bother to read my blog?