Tuesday, July 15, 2008

More good advice

More good advice from an e-mail from Grandpa.
(The additions in parenthesis are my own)
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." (World of Warcraft)
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life. (Unless they happen to be the same)
6. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
7. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
8. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
9. Never lick a steak knife. (unless it has A-1 on it)
10. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
11. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. (I thought it was duct tape)
12. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
13. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
14. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. (I am)
15. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
16. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
17. Your friends love you anyway.
18. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.


Administrator Alice said...

You are an above average driver.

Administrator Alice said...

Della can you send me your mom's cell number, I really need to talk to her. Thanks, Alice

Chet & Liz Hugo said...

#12 is one of my absolute pet peeves. Especially now that we live in Alaska! What exactly are you trying to save, cause it ain't daylight! All it does is cause a major adjustment in alarm clocks and kids bedtimes. Argh! It just drives me nuts.--Liz

Pikes Pickles said...

My favorite
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Now if I could only stop giggling.....

Della Hill said...

I find it amusing that you are encouraging my driving when I'm pretty sure the last time you were a passenger in a vehicle I was piloting I was giving you a ride on my motorcycle.
No kidding. I hate daylight savings. And I have a lot more daylight than you do.
Now that you have received this advice you have no excuse to ever ever do that, and if you do the consequences will be your own fault.
I know you get tired of cleaning up similiar messes from your little princess of a daughter.
Tee hee hee.