Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas Wishes

I had one Christmas wish this year that I didn't expect to get.
I barely even said it out loud because the more I voiced it, the more I felt like I invested in it. And I didn't want to be disappointed, because I was certain that I would be.
I also felt like my wish was a little bit selfish, and I didn't want others to miss out on Christmas happiness just so I could have it.
What I wanted, more than anything else this year, was to have all of my boys here together on Christmas morning.
In all the years I have done foster care or worked in group homes, I have never had a Christmas morning with every member of my household there.
There is always someone who spends the day with their biological family and comes home later.
I am glad that these kids have family to spend Christmas with. I wish they all did.
In a perfect world they would all have families who take care of them everyday, and I would be out of a job, and it would be awesome!
Unfortunately, that isn't the case.
My kids who go to another home for Christmas still get as many gifts, they just open them when they get back and they miss out on the magic of Christmas morning at our house.
This year was different. For one reason or another, (and some of these reasons made me very sad), none of my boys were able to go to their other homes for Christmas. The result of this was that they all got to be here on Christmas morning. And I got to be very happy.
All of these kids have anxiety about the holidays. Historically Christmas has been a time of tremendous disappointment or even pain for them. And allowing themselves to open up to the fun and family joy of Christmas is a scary thing.
Because of that, yesterday morning had a potential to start off badly. And it almost did.
But after a few minutes we were able to work through it and have a great Christmas morning.
After all the presents were open all the boys took part in helping Chris do a quest to get his last and biggest present.
Everyone hung out, played with their toys, cell phones, and even put a band together to go on a World Tour courtesy of Guitar Hero.
Later on we all went to the movies to see "Bedtime Stories".
No one complained. Everyone got along. Everyone had fun. We even all sat together at the movies, which is a small thing, but a big thing for everyone in my family to not mind being close to each other.
After we got home we played more Guitar Hero and downloaded new songs onto mp3 players.
I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas. Even the initial stress early in the morning made us appreciate how well everything went even more.
I got the presents that I asked for, but so much more importantly to me, I got the wish that I was afraid to wish for.
I got to have my family together, and had a wonderful time on Christmas..
It was wonderful.
I hope all of you have as great of a Christmas Holiday as I am having.
And to top it all off, I called my Bishopric Member and accepted that calling that I am terrifed of.
Here's to weight lifting.


The family said...

You have opened up and shown me an amazing side to you and your family. PLEASE tell me more. I need every last detail.

Chuck and Nancy said...

To All of the Hills. We love you. Mom

Tracy said...

I had no idea that you're a foster mom. We've always planned to foster or adopt, but haven't quite gotten to the point where we're completely ready for it. We will eventually.

I'm so glad you had a happy Christmas day!!!!

What's your new calling? You'll have to blog about it as soon as you can!!!

A belated Merry Christmas to you!!!!