Thursday, April 17, 2008

On raising boys

I have gotten this e-mail more than once and it is probably my favorite e-mail ever.
But I got it again the other day and decided to post it.
Don't worry, this is funny even if you don't have kids.
. Raising Boys - 24 key points to ponder
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The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin , Texas ...Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
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1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
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2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
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3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowdedrestaurant.
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4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strongenough to rotate a 42-pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
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5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
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6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
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7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
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8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
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9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
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10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
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11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
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12. Super glue is forever.
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13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
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14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
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15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
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16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
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17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
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18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
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19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
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20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
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21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
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22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. .
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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I sent this e-mail to a friend of mine who is a single father. I am pretty sure he and his sons actually experimented with the brake fluid and bleach.

3 comments:

Pikes Pickles said...

Okay- I got the same email 3 days ago and I skimmed through it and thought this would be really fun to blog...Sometimes the way we think alike REALLY scares me.

Della Hill said...

Pike-
Like I said before, I think we are soul bloggies.
It is funny though.
-Della

Tom and Lillie Wilkinson said...

Thanks for the laugh.
I'm not sure I want my kids to see this, though.
Lillie