For a good laugh

Here are some actual answers that students gave to test questions. Some of these have to be on purpose. At least I really, really hope.

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Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

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Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

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Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

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Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

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Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I for get where the sun joins in this fight.

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Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

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Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

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Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

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Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

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Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the boraxcontains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

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Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

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Q: What does 'varicose' mean?

A: Nearby.

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Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

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Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.