More Wisdom

Some of these may sound familiar.

Enjoy them anyway.

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01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

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02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

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03. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

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04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

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05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

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06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

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07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

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08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

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10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

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12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

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13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

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14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

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15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

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16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

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18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

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19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips aremoving.

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20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

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21. Never miss a good chance to shut up

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22. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.