Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Points to ponder

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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How can you tell when sour cream goes bad? It's aleady sour. Does it turn good?
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If our knees bent backwards, what would chairs look like?
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If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out if it's nose?

2 comments:

Chet & Liz Hugo said...

An added distinction between assassination and other forms of killing is that the assassin has an ideological or political motivation.--Liz

shrinkingme said...

Oh thank you so much for the laughs!!!! I really, I mean REALLY enjoyed those!
Something else to ponder: Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
:)