Epitaphs

These are epitaphs supposedly found on real graves. They must be real. I can't imaginge why anyone would make these up.

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Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York :

Born 1903--Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the

car was on the way down.

It was.

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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in

East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.

Only The Good Die Young.

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In a London , England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

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In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread, And

the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace

wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast...

Pardon me for not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.

Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer's epitaph in England :

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer,

and that is Strange.

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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,

England , cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went

out of tune.

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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls ,

Vermont :

Here lies the body of our Anna,

Done to death by a banana.

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket ,

Massachusetts :

Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there's only the pod.

Pease shelled out and went to God.

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In a cemetery in England :

Remember man, as you walk by,

As you are now, so once was I

As I am now, so shall you be.

Remember this and follow me.

-

To which someone replied by writing

on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent

Until I know which way you went.

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And my personal favorite:

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In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no

place to go.

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